Starting a new band… with a twist

From Craigslist:

Hi everyone, my name is Tony. I’ve been a professional guitar player for 20 years in bands all across the country. I settled down in Las Vegas last year and am looking to start a new band with a unique twist. I’m in to playing hard rock, my influences are myself, Night Ranger, Survivor, .38 Special, Queen, Heart, Loverboy, Def Leppard, etc. I know all of these bands catalogs plus many more. Here’s the twist: We would play covers of the bands I mentioned but when it’s time for the guitar solo, i will drop my pants. I have an urethral implant that I can set up to emit a small flame of natural gas and will light it on fire. For the duration of the guitar solo I will swing my cock around on fire. When I do it at the right speed it looks like a flaming pinwheel or fourth of july sparkler. When my solo is over pants go back on. I know it sounds crazy but I lived in other countries for years and this really gets the crowd going. I can swing it in time to most of the songs. If any other band member is interested in getting the implant too that would be great (standing members only, not the drummer). If you’re a woman it may work too (urethral implant) as long as your not too meaty down there. At this stage in my career the normal cover band life is not what I’m looking for. With this stage show I guarantee we will be able to book at rates above and beyond what our competition is getting paid. Plus, we don’t have to play any of those bs corporate parties (well maybe Playboy’s!). Looking for drummer, guitar, bass, keys and backup vox. Please feel free to shoot me a message and I will get back to you. Tony “The Pinwheel” Ocasio.